Therapists know this moment well.

You want what’s best for your client to achieve therapy goals. To do so, you try to plan ahead a session or conceptualize what’s next for your client. However, you’re in the middle of a session and it veers from your careful planning. A step-by-step guide for what to do next doesn’t exist. So, what do you do?

Maybe you have tried planning ahead with Internal Family Systems (IFS). Going into your client’s session, you plan to explore parts. But, you get confused. You are flustered and your mind races. It comes up short on what to do next.

In this moment you realize there is a gap between simply understanding IFS and confidently facilitating Self-Led IFS Sessions. 

You are not alone in this experience. Many therapists feel the same way when they begin integrating parts work or trauma therapy approaches like IFS and EMDR.

In this article, we will explore:

• What a Self-Led IFS Session is
• Why it is so hard to facilitate a Self-Led IFS Session
• What therapists actually need to facilitate a Self-Led IFS Session

What is a Self-Led IFS Session?

Self-Led IFS sessions center around self-energy. With self-energy, therapists do not have an agenda going into a session. It allows therapists to guide clients through an IFS session without expecting or demanding anything from clients’ systems. Self-energy allows therapists to stay regulated while still using trained therapist skills. 

A truly Self-Led IFS session enables the client’s system to unfold organically. As this occurs, the therapist trusts the client’s system rather than steers the client’s system. In doing so, the client’s protective parts feel respected. Additionally, exiles are approached gently and safely.

Self-led work creates deeper, more sustainable change for clients. Their systems will grow in self-energy as they trust the therapist’s self-energy. And in trauma therapy, Self-Led IFS sessions allow clients’ nervous systems to feel safe enough to heal.

Why is it so hard to facilitate a Self-Led IFS Session?

The idea of Self-Led IFS sessions makes sense to you. You understand it’s composed of parts in your clients’ systems and that the process enables clients to safely heal. You believe in the process! So, why is it so hard to facilitate? 

Therapists’ own parts get activated as they move through sessions with clients. Perhaps this is the Fixer parts or Performer parts. Maybe it’s the “Good Therapist” parts. Or, it could simply be the fear of getting the process wrong.

Additionally, complex trauma complicates the process of Self-Led IFS sessions. In these cases, clients possess highly activated protective systems; they are protecting themselves from getting hurt in the same ways again. Additionally, complex trauma may trigger dissociation or intellectual managers. Highly active protective systems, dissociation, and intellectual management are all firefighters that derail the session with shut down, additional dissociation, and more.

Facilitating a Self-Led IFS Session without confidence has repercussions for the therapist. Therapists may over-direct sessions, which is more therapist effort with less client results. They might avoid deeper exile work or burn out from feeling like they are carrying the entire process. In summary, when sessions aren’t Self-Led, the therapist ends up working harder than the system. 

What therapists actually need to facilitate a Self-Led IFS Session

The good news is that facilitating Self-Led IFS sessions is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. Confidence comes through experience, support, and the right type of training.

What therapists actually need to facilitate a Self-Led IFS session:

• Repetition in a safe learning environment. Therapists require practice, real-time feedback, and experiential learning (not just discussion).
• Learning to track self-energy in real time. Therapists must understand what it feels like to track self-energy and the subtle cues of blending.
• Learning when to intervene — and when to trust. Therapists must understand the right time to intervene during a session and when to trust the self.
• Learning important differentiations. Therapists require the ability to differentiate activation vs. overwhelm, protective interference vs. pacing, and trauma-informed pacing.
• Working with your own parts while facilitating. Therapists must use their own parts while running client sessions.

You don’t have to learn and practice alone! As a trained IFS Level 1 and EMDR therapist, I offer Self-Led IFS Session Workshops. This three-hour online workshop is for therapists interested in learning more about IFS and providing it as a therapeutic intervention with clients. We will cover the basics of the IFS model, with a focus on increasing self, and do some experiential activities. After completing the workshop, you will feel confident to facilitate real parts-informed sessions — even if you’ve felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to translate IFS concepts into actual therapy.

Register for the next Self-Led IFS Session today!